December of 1992 was a wonderful time of spiritual change in my life. My renewing of mind and heart was primarily the consequence of a trip my husband, my son and I made to a church, at that time, called Toronto Airport Vineyard. We had heard rumors of a visitation of God and although somewhat apprehensive, we ventured out to see if these things were true. Our visit happened to fall on my birthday.
Upon arrival for the meeting, at their newly acquired building, I intentionally stood back analyzing whether what I was observing was God or emotionalism. My husband and my son, being far more adventuresome, immediately positioned themselves to receive. As I watched, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, reminding me that what was happening was spiritual and could not be discerned solely with the natural mind but had to be discerned spiritually. The Holy Spirit urged me to respond in faith, test the water and see what He might do. I cautiously edged into the action and waited for someone to pray for me. Not accustomed to “falling in the spirit,” I determined that not to be an option; besides, the carpet was dirty and the floor cold. Again, the Holy Spirit challenged my faith and clearly said, “lie down.” I answered, “Why?” The Holy Spirit
reiterated, “lie down.” With no one praying, no lightening bolt from heaven, in obedience to the voice of God, I obeyed. Lying on the carpet, feeling somewhat foolish, a wave of the Holy Spirit suddenly flooded over me. It was so empowering like nothing I have ever experienced before. I realized I was in a spiritual river that was about twenty-four inches deep.
The next morning, hungry for more of what I had tasted the night before, I quickly responded to the appeal and hurried up to the altar next to my husband and son. One of the pastors approached me to pray, and in doing so, requested I place my hand over my heart and then proceeded to prophetically pray for my broken heart to be healed and that I might have a greater understanding of the love of my heavenly Father, who would never leave me or forsake me. I had never felt any particular need for healing of a broken heart and I had a relatively good knowledge of Bible principles concerning the love of God. Meditating on the prophetic word, I remembered my husband’s comment while walking into the meeting that morning, “God is going to give you a birthday present.” At that point, something very unusual started to happen. The violinist and vocalists came down from the platform, surrounded me, and began serenading me, playing, “I believe in Jesus, I believe He is the Son of God, He is here with the power to heal and the grace to forgive.” In that circle of worship, the power of the love of God was so strong. I could not stand upright and was bent over at the waist at a 90-degree angle. I was weeping profusely, not from self-pity or fear but from the revelation of the love of God for me. It was as if Father God had His arms around me, squeezing me tight, like a little girl in the arms of her father who after some time wiggles away or begs him to let go because her love meter has surpassed its limit. I can honestly say I never consciously feared rejection from God. I had been well taught but apparently, God knew my heart better than I knew my own. I was in a very awkward position and could hardly move my hands to my face. Mascara was everywhere and my nose was running. It wasn’t dignified, but I didn’t care. I could finally fall to my knees as the musicians departed.
Something supernatural happen to me that morning. My life and understanding were forever changed. Although I did not know I needed to change or even wanted to change, God knew and He changed me. Something came alive in me. It was a revelation of the love of the Father to my spirit, not just my intellect. I had never comprehended love like that before and that revelation catapulted me into a new level of faith.
It is from the motive of love that we enter into intercession on the behalf of others. If our motive is anything less we will fail to produce good fruit from our efforts to obey God and His commands. Our motive must match Jesus’, and His was always love.